I Shouldn’t Go Grocery Shopping After a Massage

I’m basically Gumby.

Photo by Jonathan Fink on Unsplash

My toes are typing this article.

My eyes are where my ears are, and I swear I have no idea how I drove home.

I just got back from a long overdue massage.

One of those 90-minute ones that rearranges an entire body.

Woodland critters are singing, “The hills are alive with the sound of music…”

It’s a hoot because they are all swaying, and I am too.

I did mistakenly stop at the grocery store, forgetting I have feet, ankles, knees, legs.

What’s a hipbone? My psoas muscle lost its grip and I’m basically Gumby.

Back to the store adventure. {{It’s so hard to focus.}}

People kept over smiling and nodding it’ll be okay. Sort of like, oh that poor thing.

I had no idea why, so I just thought they were being super-duper friendly, and I smiled and did a little wave.

I was all melty. Everything was extra happy and bright.

In hindsight, I should have started singing Broadway Tunes.

Considering my altered state of a marshmallow, I didn’t give a shit and smiled even more.

This caused several to clutch their purse.

Without a doubt they are having a grumpy day, so I thought to myself and I’ll keep being friendly.

I started to hum a merry tune. 🎵

Ya, know the phrase be kind to everyone?

I was applying it liberally, like ‘buttah.’

Then my right ankle cramped up probably because it wasn’t really my ankle and I had an implant while drooling around 45 minutes into massage-bliss-land.

This only added to my ridiculous willy-nilly posture and then I had to limp, and drag my right leg to find coffee beans. I also really needed a cookie which I later found was at the opposite end of the store.

This was not good.

I swear I wanted to hitchhike and hoped one of those motorized shopping cart buggies would give me a lift.

Nope. Didn’t happen. They steered around me!

I sincerely never thought I’d be one to attract attention however, limp, drag, giggle, wave and smile wasn’t exactly being quiet.

This made me laugh more and not only to myself.

It was all brilliantly wonderful! Beside, it’s so hard keeping everything semi-normal when this other side of me slips out.

I finally navigated to my car, clicking the car bob thingy hoping my car would ‘chirp or squawk’ — because I completely forgot where I had parked.

Nevertheless, I found my car. This was very good.

When I looked in the car mirror, my hair had the lovely sheen of massage oil.

My shirt was inside out. Both cheeks (the facial ones) were rosy and pretty.

Sigh. What were those grocery store people so upset about?

You might be pleased to know, I’m home. All is well. Cookie has been had with a lovely cuppa Joe.

And the woodland critters are helping me write this ditty. 🐭 🐦

Dreamer. Poet. HSP. Empath. Licensed MH Therapist. 3 books published. 3X Top Writer. Love espressos & my chunky cat. www.carolynriker.com

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