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The Root of Toxic Relationships
The role models we grow up with are often the first source
We tend to repeat toxic relationships with partners, friends, coworkers, and the like because of the role models we received as a child. The more aware we become of those patterns, the less likely we will continue seeking and repeating them unconsciously. First, though, we need to bring our awareness to such negative relationships and what attracts us to them.
Over the decades, I have had several deeply committed, long-term relationships. However, after a lot of self-analysis, therapy, education, and support from friends and therapists, I learned how these partners had components of significant control and toxicity. I also began to understand that I gravitated towards such relationships because they were familiar to me.
Sometimes I shake my head and wonder, when will I get the message? But, I do know, learning takes time and not to be too hard on myself.
What I learned over the years
Two of my biggest mistakes have been overly trusting and not listening to my intuition. You know, those red flags waving repeatedly and shouting:
STOP!!! This relationship is another dead end and only a quarter of the love you deserve!!!
