What Did I See in You?
{{that is also in me?}}
I tried to explain to you
while holding the sky
with a weight
of embarrassment
when my words
stumbled out
for the very first time
at how much it hurt
to see the exchange
of love being given
so sweetly.
I called it jealousy
and you yelled,
I was the worst and added
more daggers to an already
roaring flame, when you
exclaimed,
there’s no love for you.
I died to live that day.
I died for weeks to come.
That memory still flares because
I trusted me
to share with you
thinking it was safe.
It wasn’t.
That cool, crisp morning
when the shadows of my vulnerable
were instantly trampled.
You, with such surprising ease,
withdrew your love quickly.
And now I wonder,
what did you see in me
that is also in you
that angered you enough
to crush me so blue?
And now I also wonder,
what did I see in you
that is also in me
that raged me enough
to crush the trust,
I had in you?
Carolyn Riker is a poet, writer and author. She has two books of poetry: Blue Clouds and This is Love. In addition to writing, she has a private practice as a highly sensitive mental health therapist. If you would like to read more of her words, follow her on Facebook at Carolyn Riker, MA, LMHC.
