{{that is also in me?}}

I tried to explain to you

while holding the sky

with a weight

of embarrassment

when my words

stumbled out

for the very first time

at how much it hurt

to see the exchange

of love being given

so sweetly.

I called it jealousy

and you yelled,

I was the worst and added

more daggers to an already

roaring flame, when you

exclaimed,

there’s no love for you.

I died to live that day.

I died for weeks to come.

That memory still flares because

I trusted me

to share with you

thinking it was safe.

It wasn’t.

That cool, crisp morning

when the shadows of my vulnerable

were instantly trampled.

You, with such surprising ease,

withdrew your love quickly.

And now I wonder,

what did you see in me

that is also in you

that angered you enough

to crush me so blue?

And now I also wonder,

what did I see in you

that is also in me

that raged me enough

to crush the trust,

I had in you?

Carolyn Riker is a poet, writer and author. She has two books of poetry: Blue Clouds and This is Love. In addition to writing, she has a private practice as a highly sensitive mental health therapist. If you would like to read more of her words, follow her on Facebook at Carolyn Riker, MA, LMHC.

Dreamer. Poet. HSP. Empath. Licensed MH Therapist. 3 books published. 3X Top Writer. Love espressos & my chunky cat. www.carolynriker.com

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